I was a loose head prop and don’t pretent to know too much about rugby, but if I was given the opportunity to coach the springboks for a day, here is what I would like to say to them.

Guthro Steenkamp – when you bind start with your hand on your chest bone then with a quick jab grab tight head under the armpit about one hands span below the armpit, in the same motion get elbow parallel to the ground and lock shoulder, this gives you leverage and even if your opponent is stronger he won’t be able to drag you down, otherwise keep doing what you are doing.

John Smit – don’t throw over the back of the line out, you are mostly relying on the bounce of the ball to go in your favour, and it is too risky, otherwise take a break. You are playing with people’s emotions here, go risk your own money at the Casino’s

Jannie du Plessis – first move is to deflect the Loose head’s arm and get your bind, if you succeed in that he has to bind low on your body and is in trouble

Bakkies Botha –Do what you do but behave yourself, and use your arms. Your shoulders are their to attach your arms too.

Victor – body position in the contact area is too high and you get driven back mainly due to running diagonal towards the defence, physics tells you they will drive you back in the tackle, and if you are going to use a high body position rather look for the offload

Schalk Burger, you run diagonally across the field, can’t use leg drive as the opposition double tackles you and has easy access to you legs as they are side on. Also when you go into the ruck to steal ball, once you know where the ball is look up so that you have the referee in sight, it will also help the perception of the referee that you are trying to stay on your feet, when you dip your head the perception can be interpreted that you are bridging and are not on your feet.

Juan smith – Just enjoy the game mate.

Pierre Spies, your body position is to upright, you can’t get momentum and it is impossible to use leg drive when your center of gravity is so high and you are being pushed back. You run through brick walls in your ad. They don’t tackle back.

Francois Hougaardt – enjoy the game mate.

Morne Steyn, if your chasers are doing a poor job and are not getting to the ball, then why kick possession away.

Jean de Villiers – Try offloading in the tackle, it helps to get the ball wider faster, and watch the inside line on defence.

Jaque Fourie – keep doing what you are doing, just remember the guy next to you is JP Pietersen and he is in your team.

JP Pietersen, get to know your center, he is Jaque Fourie, maybe if he knows you better you’ll get some ball, also vary your angle of running, if Jaque is drifting out, cut inside.

Bryan Habana, you are not going to build confidence with an intercept, for a start try to remain in the defensive line, trust the tackler on the inside, I know you are taught that you need to remain inside your opponent, but it doesn’t help when he is ten meters away. Realise you are not as fast as you used to be, compensate for your loss of speed by anticipating better.

Frans Steyn, put a bloody smile on your face, you don’t look like you are enjoying yourself, get busy in the back line, run a few lines, look for work, I know you are at the back for a reason, but even a bus conductor comes to the front every now and then.

Anybody going into a ruck with his head down can seem to be going down rather than looking as if they are trying to stay on your feet, you are not an ostrich, get Joost v d Westhuizen away from his parties and learn the meerkat stance from him. This way you will be able to hear and see the referee and will be able to adapt to his way of reading the game.

There is a reason why teams score tries against you, your defensive lines leave huge gaps when they run from deep, if there are forwards next to each other you need to stand closer as you don’t have the speed to close gaps, but most of all, the up and under doesn’t work anymore, especially if you don’t chase after it.

Variety is the spice of life, it also wins rugby matches.

You only need one guy in the ruck to slow down a ball, a few more to defend around a ruck, get into the defensive line and remain on your feet, you can achieve nothing by falling over the ruck, the referee doesn’t like it, and your co defenders find it very difficult when there are overlaps.

The only reason you’ll have more people at the ruck is because you want to counter ruck and drive over the ball.

The game is played over 80 minutes, it doesn’t help your cause if you only wake up in the 30^th minute. Play to the whistle, on opponent mistakes counter by going wide immediately, that is where the gaps are, and also your speed freaks.

Leave your handbags at home, you like a bunch of school girls behind the pavilion when you swing them.

Smile at the referee, let him know he is your friend, when you are ugly and you frown, you look scary, and the referee thinks you don’t like him, when he warns you, say sorry.

Finally, there is no I in team, stop playing for individual glory and look at the big screen every time you did something good, remain humble and trust your team mates.

There will be a lot of swear words during this session, but due to this being a family show, I have refrained from using them.