Care of Manly who thought the funny side was not very funny…being empty and all!

You’ve got to get your first tackle in early, even if it’s late.
Ray Graved

 In my time, I’ve had my knee out, broken my collarbone, had my nose smashed, a rib broken, lost a few teeth, and ricked my back; but as soon as I get a bit of bad luck I’m going to quit the game.
J. W. Robinson

Rugby football is a game I can’t claim absolutely to understand in all its niceties, if you know what I mean. I can follow the broad, general principles, of course. I mean to say, I know that the main scheme is to work the ball down the field somehow and deposit it over the line at the other end and that, in order to squalch this programme, each side is allowed to put in a certain amount of assault and battery and do things to its fellow man which, if done elsewhere, would result in 14 days without the option, coupled with some strong remarks from the Bench.
P. G. Wodehouse Very Good, Jeeves (1930)

On his successors in the Oxford University backs – I’ve seen better centres in a box of Black Magic.
JoeMcPartlin

Rugby backs can be identified because they generally have clean jerseys and identifiable partings in their hair… come the revolution the backs will be the first to be lined up against the wall and shot for living parasitically off the work of others.
Peter Fizsimmons

Simon Geoghegan: The winger resembles Mother Brown, running with a high knee-lift and sometimes not progressing far from the spot where he started.
Mark Reason Total Sport (1996)

I think you enjoy the game more if you don’t know the rules. Anyway, you’re on the same wavelength as the referees. Jonathan Davies,
A Question of Sport BBC TV (1995)

Playing rugby at school I once fell on a loose ball and, through ignorance and fear, held on despite a fierce pummelling. After that it took me months to convince my team-mates I was a coward.
Peter Cook (1970)

The advantage law is the best law in rugby, because it lets you ignore all the others for the good of the game.
Derek Robinson

The first half is invariably much longer than the second. This is partly because of the late kick-off but is also caused by the unfitness of the referee.
Michael Green The Art of Coarse Rugby (1960)

There is far too much talk about good ball and bad ball. In my opinion, good ball is when you have possession and bad ball is when the opposition have it.
Dick Jeeps (1976)

A forward’s usefulness to his side varies as to the square of his distance from the ball.
Clarrie Gibbons

Dean Richards is nicknamed Warren, as in warren ugly bastard.
Jason Leonard (1995)

Forwards are the gnarled and scarred creatures who have a propensity for running into and bleeding all over each other.
Peter Fitzsimmons

In 1823, William Webb Ellis first picked up the ball in his arms and ran with it. And for the next 156 years forwards have been trying to work out why.
Sir Tasker Watkins (1979)

On the Munsterpack- Mothers keep their photo on the mantelpiece to stop the kids going too near the fire.
Jim Noilly, BBC TV (1995)

After biting Sean Fitzpatrick’s ear- For an 18-month suspension, I feel I probably should have torn it off. Then at least I could say, ‘Look, I’ve returned to South Africa with the guy’s ear.’
Johan le Roux (1994)

As Erica Roe streaked at Twickenham -Bill, there’s a guy just run on the park with your backside on his chest.
Steve Smith (1982)

I think Brian Moore’s gnashers are the kind you get from a DIY shop and hammer in yourself. He is the only player we have who looks like a French forward.
Paul Randall (1994)

On trying to stop Phil Horrocks-Taylor-Every time I went to tackle him, Horrocks went one way, Taylor went the other, and all I got was the bloody hyphen.
Nick England