Dumb and Dumber
I hope you guys have a taste for parody and a tongue-in-cheek look at events of the week!
Another episode or 3 in a new serial called Dumb and Dumberer – the SARU Story, is playing out right in front of our eyes this week again.
In Episode 1, one of the lead actors, let’s call him “Hoss”… short for Hoskins… opens his mouth, sticks both feet firmly in… and then continues to look stupid.
In Episode 2, “Kallie Karnallie”… short for Kallie Kriel… puts Hoss in his place, treats him like a school child, leaving Hoss in the fetal position and sucking his thumb in the corner.
In Episode 3, the knight on a white horse arrives… errrr sorry the script was changed to a “Brommer op ‘n Drol”… He tries to rip both of Hoss’ feet out of his mouth and declares that the feet did not belong there in the first place, yet acknowledging that foot in mouth disease, has flash-back effects much like Malaria does.
Like all soapies, this is a lot of tripe, to be followed by the brainless masses…
Well, if you can’t beat them, join them I say! If they can all talk the biggest load of bollocks, then surely I can paint them into a corner and twist the knife for good effect, can’t I?
(PS! Folks, take this with a pinch of salt, no a heap of salt, this is just an attempt to bring mirth to a subject which normally peeves off the average Joe in South Africa!)
Episode 1 & 2 – Hoskins & AfriForum:
Oregan Hoskins
A legal team is preparing to submit an official complaint to the IRB against SARU’s proposed quota system, civil rights organisation AfriForum said on Monday.
AfriForum chief executive Kallie Kriel said IRB rules prohibited racial discrimination and political interference in rugby.
“SARU’s instruction to the Springbok coach is a crude form of racial discrimination and an indication that SARU has surrendered to the quota threats of the Minister of Sport, Fikile Mbalula,” Kriel said in a statement.
AfriForum’s legal team would look into the possibility of opening a case with the International Court for Arbitration in Sport.
It was reported on Monday that SARU president Oregan Hoskins had sent a message to Springbok coach Heyneke Meyer about having a greater representation of blacks in the national team.
Hoskins said he personally delivered the message to Meyer.
“We need to give black players, specifically ‘African blacks’, more chances in the team,” he said.
“I spoke to the coach and he agreed, the time is right for this. I believe we will already see a change or two against Scotland this coming weekend.”
Kriel said it was not in the interest of South African rugby, players or the supporters of the sport for Saru to “blatantly contravene” the IRB’s rules.
AfriForum supported rugby development, and wanted everyone to have the opportunity to participate in the sport, he said.
“A racial quota system disadvantages all talented players of all races,” Kriel said.
“White players are disadvantaged because they are excluded from participation based on their race and the validity of the inclusion of black players in teams is by default suspect.”
AfriForum’s complaint was based on by-law 3 of the IRB rules and regulations. It compels the IRB to prevent any form of racial discrimination in rugby.
Regulation 20 determines that any action in rugby which entails racial discrimination amounts to “misconduct”.
The IRB may institute disciplinary steps against any rugby body that violates these rules.
“SARU and government should address their own failure to develop young talent at school level with development programmes rather than playing the numbers game in a top-down manipulation of the sport,” Kriel said.
Episode 3 – Roux to the rescue:
Jurie Roux
The pressure may be on Heyneke Meyer to select more ‘black African’ players, but transformation is not the Springbok coach’s responsibility.
The dreaded ‘T-word’ – which has been voiced unstintingly by politicians in recent months – received more airtime on Monday when South African Rugby Union President Regan Hoskins made it clear he wants to see more non-white faces in the national team.
Hoskins said he personally spoke to the Bok coach, Meyer, and said players like Teboho Mohoje, Sibusiso Sithole, Lwazi Mvovo, Siya Kolisi and Trevor Nyakane must get opportunities sooner rather than later.
The SARU boss said he was referring specifically to ‘black Africans’, when he suggested some changes could be made ahead of SA’s one-off Test against Scotland in Port Elizabeth this coming Saturday.
SARU Chief Executive Jurie Roux confirmed that Hoskins had spoken to the Bok coach about the vexed issue of more black players in the national team, but added that it is not up to the Bok coach to bring these players through the ranks.
He suggested transformation is a much bigger issue than just how many non-white (or black Africans) play for the Boks.
“It is wider rugby’s job – from age group level, Cup, Currie Cup and Super Rugby level upwards to provide the volume of talented players – black African, coloured and white – from which our national coaches can pick what we hope will be world-beating teams,” Roux said.
Roux added that all SARU’s national coaches are aware of the need to be sensitive to transformation, as they sit most in the public eye.
“There has not been a SARU president who has not discussed the issue of transformation with the national coach,” the CEO said.
“The topic is at the top of our agenda and we do not shy away from that.”
“But what became evident from the work of the Eminent Persons’ Group is that although significant progress has been made in terms of transformation, the development of black African sports stars in sports such as ours – as well as others – had lagged.”
Hoskins’ discussion with Meyer came in the wake of the revelation that the South African Sports Confederation and Olympic Committee came out and praised SARU for its effort in transformation, contrary to the popular perception that the union has no transformation plans.
SASCOC CEO Tubby Reddy last week said he was pleased with the steps taken by SARU thus far.
Hoskins admitted that there is “pressure from above” to give black players more opportunities at national level.
Episode 4 onwards – The Circus continues:
As we have become accostomed to, the circus is in town and will continue to perform, to ever dwindling numbers around the ring.
Expect fireworks from the baddies in the story, “Tony Polony”… short for Tony Ehrenreich… and “Sas de Kock”… short for SASCOC… who will pull a couple of bazookas out of nowhere, threaten to blast everybody to smithereens and then again disappear like ghosts in the night, till next time!
Freegin hell, I should have become a script writer!
Hoskins is dikvel, hy vee sy alie af aan script writers en Afriforum se prokurowers, hy is self een (aktespesialis van KZN Middelland).
Hy is waarskynlik alreeds besig met sy besigheidsklasreelings vir volgende jaar se wereldbeker, verder het hy nie n saak met ons “‘pleb ondersteunertjies” nie….
Hoskins unfazed by quota row
2014-06-24 11:27
Cape Town – South African Rugby Union (SARU) president Oregan Hoskins is unfazed by civil rights organisation AfriForum’s threats to lay an official complaint with the International Rugby Board (IRB) after SARU urged Bok coach Heyneke Meyer to pick more black players.
AfriForum chief executive Kallie Kriel said IRB rules prohibited racial discrimination and political interference in rugby.
“SARU’s instruction to the Springbok coach is a crude form of racial discrimination and an indication that SARU has surrendered to the quota threats of the minister of sport, Fikile Mbalula,” Kriel told SAPA on Monday.
He said AfriForum’s legal team would look into the possibility of opening a case with the International Court for Arbitration in Sport (CAS).
This comes after it was reported on Monday that Hoskins had sent a message to Meyer about having a greater representation of blacks, especially black Africans, in the national team.
Hoskins, who is also the vice-chairperson of the IRB, does not appear to be too worried about AfriForum’s threats.
He told Tuesday’s Cape Times that AfriForum had been writing to the IRB for a long time and that he was not going to react to them as it was not the first time they were doing it.
It is believed that the SARU Exco gave Hoskins the mandate to address the issue with Meyer following their meeting with the South African Sports Confederation and Olympic Committee (SASCOC) in Johannesburg last week.
SARU’s performance and transformation agenda was examined at the meeting.
Praat Jurie darem weer sin n slag:
“He suggested transformation is a much bigger issue than just how many non-white (or black Africans) play for the Boks.”
Hondo is going to have a field day when the “Bok” team is announced.
Doesn’t really matter who HM selects this weekend, the Scottish side that will be here will still lose, the only question is by which margin.
Play the new and improved side in the RC, at least then we have an excuse when we get klapped.
If our so called lily white racist side can’t even properly beat the Welsh, then we were in any case on a hiding to nothing in the RC, at least this way we have a handy excuse.
@ nortierd:
And IF we lose against Scotland?
Wat dan korporaal?
And here comes Tony also, who else!
Nou wag ons nog net vir Butane Komphela en Gert Oosthuizen
Cosatu backs rugby quotas
2014-06-24 13:00
Johannesburg – Cosatu in the Western Cape firmly supports quotas in rugby and other sporting codes, it said on Tuesday.
“Cosatu in the Western Cape has been requested by some of the black players to speak on behalf of their particular interests,” Congress of SA Trade Unions provincial secretary Tony Ehrenreich said in a statement.
“The players’ unions clearly represent the majority of white players and speak mainly in the interest of these white players.”
He said Cosatu’s broader view was also to support quotas in all sporting codes.
“Cosatu calls for more representivity in all sporting codes, including more whites in soccer, as the national teams must represent the demographics of the whole country.”
It was reported on Monday that SARU president Oregan Hoskins had sent a message to Springbok coach Heyneke Meyer about having a greater representation of blacks in the national team.
Hoskins said he personally delivered the message to Meyer.
“We need to give black players, specifically ‘African blacks’, more chances in the team,” Hoskins said.
“I spoke to the coach and he agreed the time is right for this. I believe we will already see a change or two against Scotland this coming weekend.”
Civil rights organisation AfriForum said it would submit an official complaint to the International Rugby Board (IRB) against the SA Rugby Union’s proposed quota system.
AfriForum chief executive Kallie Kriel said IRB rules prohibited racial discrimination and political interference in rugby.
Ehrenreich said Cosatu rejected AfriForum’s view as that of a racist cabal trying to defend the generational advantage of white players.
“The discussions on quotas were delayed because the administrators have allowed coaches to make decisions outside of the national interest,” Ehrenreich said.
6 @ Pietman:
Give Tony Ehrenreich a clown hat, please!
@ grootblousmile:
Plaaswerkers het hom weggejaag op Ceres, nou soek hy weer ander kukmaakplek, dis mos sy werk….
Pietman wrote:
Dan kry hulle mos wat hulle wil he.
Ek glo dat selfs daai hotbed van transformasie, ook bekend as die OP Kings, die Skotte sal klop
“Cosatu in the Western Cape has been requested by some of the black players to speak on behalf of their particular interests,” Congress of SA Trade Unions provincial secretary Tony Ehrenreich said in a statement
@ nortierd:
Ja, eintlik is jy reg….hulle moet maar aanf@k en op hulle maai kry soos Bafana…
Ek voel net jammer vir swart spelers wat op verdienste plek gekry het.
Kyk wat skryf hierdie een mal ondersteuner op News 24!
This whole issue with quotas is going to make me sing this on the weekend.
O Flower of Scotland,
When will we see
Your like again,
That fought and died for,
Your wee bit Hill and Glen,
And stood against him,
Proud Edward’s Army,
And sent him homeward,
To think again.
The Hills are bare now,
And Autumn leaves
lie thick and still,
O’er land that is lost now,
Which those so dearly held,
That stood against him,
Proud Edward’s Army,
And sent him homeward,
To think again.
Those days are past now,
And in the past
they must remain,
But we can still rise now,
And be the nation again,
That stood against him,
Proud Edward’s Army,
And sent him homeward,
To think again.
O Flower of Scotland,
When will we see
your like again,
That fought and died for,
Your wee bit Hill and Glen,
And stood against him,
Proud Edward’s Army,
And sent him homeward,
To think again.
@ Pietman:
As dit nie die ref se skuld is nie, dan kan ons darem transformasie blameer 😀
None of you even remarked about the way and how I wrote this article, fokkit!
I thought I would cop some accolades and some punches!
“We need to give black players, specifically ‘African blacks’, more chances in the team,”
This always cracks me up, for obvious reasons.
I do not understand why this is at all made public… did Meyer leak this so called message?
All this serves is more pressure on black “africa” rugby players, Trevor has been good this year, and with Malherbe injured, should get a chance with Jaanie, Kolisi has been a shadow of last year and the year before that, but he got there on merit. If these guys play then there will be headlines that they were forced into the team.
Well done “Hoss” you have created a lose lose situation for your “African blacks”.
I wonder if Afriforum will do something about the quotas in cricket as well? 5 POC in provincial sides which includes a minimum of 2 africans.
PS – very good article!
17 @ Blue Traveller:
Thanks Blue Blooded Traveller!
14 @ grootblousmile:I don’t know if there has been enough suspense and intrigue in your script. Comedy, yes, and lots of it. But any really good script – for stage or film needs to grip the viewer – draw him in and hold him right to the end, and I fear that your story telling means that this may become a brilliant stand up pantomime for the comedy house with lots of “Ohhhh no he doesn’t” “Ohhhh yes he does” routines, but but an Oscar winning performance? I fear, maybe not.
Now if you could just twist Zuma, Malema, Blair, Bush, Saddam Hussain and a few sharks supporters into the mix, it may well become a whole new affair!!
No, seriously, good one!
19 @ Just For Kicks:
Freegin hell, I just thought one needs to laugh at this type of crap, dished up to us by the Politicos!
Jeeez, these guys have no clue, no balls, no personality and no idea… except when it comes to riding the gravy train, then they are full of it!
19 @ Just For Kicks:
Zuma’s Episode will feature a shower scene at Nkandla…. definately!
Malema’s Episode will feature some seriously skew woodwork, all done whilst wearing a bright red overall, sharp objects hidden but definately featuring a hammer and sickle!
Blair, Bush and Saddam Hussain are history… but Obama might get a cameo spot in a future Episode!
@ grootblousmile: Yup, its a joke, and really is ruining not just sports, but also so many lives with it, black, white or any other.
I read somewhere that kids at school, who can play rugby, are taking up french lessons, purely with the intention of moving other there as soon as they finish school. That is so sad, but one can understand why they are doing it.
@ grootblousmile:
Yes indeed, if Hoss really worreid about the “african” black players he would have talked to HM with some more tact and not blow this out inpublic. He gives a flying F about these players, it is all a political game.
21 @ grootblousmile:And the Sharks, or are they just a joke too?
24 @ Just For Kicks:
Difficult to build the Sharks into the story line, they would want to hog the limelight, and there would simply be too much dialog from the character, Joke Knight!
22 @ Just For Kicks:
Many high school children or young adults prepares to leave the country, rugby is a professional job just the same.
There are more reasons to leave the country daily, and it isn’t just the sportsmen.
22 @ Just For Kicks:
Those children who suffer with the French Lessons, could always take Japanese in stead!
@ grootblousmile:
Good day pal
28 @ ryecatcher:
Hello Tribal Elder!
When are these poor excuses for female reproductive organs going to GO AND ASK THE PLAYERS?????????
They are so full of their own stinking excrement that they can’t smell the roses under their respective noses.
The PLAYERS DON’T WANT TRANSFORMATION.
The players, and coaches, and administrators WANT DEVELOPMENT.
Transformation OCCURS AS A NATURAL CONSEQUENCE OF DEVELOPMENT.
The “policy makers” at SARU have had 2 golden opportunities to implement development at grass roots level following the 1995 World Cup win (NINETEEN YEARS AGO!!!!!) and the 2007 victory, when the whole nation was in love with Rugby and ready to embrace the sport.
Instead the sat with their middle fingers of their left hands tightly encapsulated by their respective spincter muscles, and the index fingers of their right hands deeply embedded in their nasal passages trying to change the gearbox of their brains manually.
They are a bunch of fools
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