The Circus Ring Master has announced his team to take on the Blues in Aukland on Saturday morning. There are a few changes to the starting clown line up, one questionable, the others laughable.
In a somewhat comical outfit the following changes have been made: Cornal ” can’t tackle” Hendricks remains on the wing, Ryno “never played 12” Benjamin is chosen at 12, the slowest backline player ever Hennie “The Thrilla” Daniller very slowly takes a spot on the other wing. Meanwhile upfront, one of Circus’s best players, Lappies Labuschnage, is replaced by Jean ” no wonder the Bulls didn’t want me ” Cook.
Clowns: 15 Willie le Roux, 14 Cornal “can’t tackle” Hendricks, 13 Johann “can’t defend” Sadie, 12 Ryno “never played at 12” Benjamin, 11 Hennie “tortise pace” Daniller, 10 Johan “ek is alweer beseer Korporaal” Goosen, 9 Sarel “can’t defend” Pretorius, 8 Philip van der Walt, 7 Jean “no wonder the Bulls didn’t want me” Cook, 6 Boom Prinsloo, 5 Francois Uys, 4 Lodewyk de Jager, 3 Nicolaas van Dyk, 2 Adriaan Strauss (Captain), 1 Caylib Oosthuizen
Replacement Clowns: 16 Ryno Barnes, 17 Trevor Nyakane, 18 Rossouw de Klerk, 19 Andries Ferreira, 20 Lappies Labuschagne, 21 Shaun “how the hell am I on the bench” Venter, 22 Elgar Watts, 23 Howard Mnisi.
Barbara Streisand wrote a song about this management team… bring on the clowns, there will be clowns.
Stormersboy wrote:
We refer to him as PK.
I will help you here, the first word is not precious and the second word is klap.
Thank you, thank you very much!
30 @ Loosehead:
If you recall when the Lions got kicked out of SR I was anything but PC, and our Webmonster was on the verge of banning me one evening when the National team were playing.
Since then I follow a more docile doctrine.
@ Loosehead:
haha @ precious.
I prefer DP.
PK is too PC.
The Cheetahs defence tells a grim tale.
6 out of the top ten missed tackle list in Super rugby so far are from the Cheetahs
Venter Missed 12 out of 72
Goosen Missed 10 out of 40
Willie missed 10 out of 22
Cornal Missed 7 out of 38
Cook missed 8 out of 22
Sadie Missed 7 out of 39
The other loosies have had to cover for all these missed tackles
Phillip missed 5 out of 83
Lappies missed 4 out of 73
Boom missed 2 out of 58
These guys have been awesome, I do not understand how the Cheetahs defence is structured that the inside center is on par with the loosies on tackles made, Benjamin is going to have a torrid time.
Attempted humour aside I fancy the cheetahs to pull this one off.
Along with the Stormers and the Bulls.
@ Loosehead:
Except the actual quote by the offended party was (in a very bad Bloem Afrikaans accent) “he threatened to p*es me dead..!”
So DP it is.
@ IAAS:
“@precious”
hahahahaha
Speaking of clowns, here is the latest by Spiros
For a change I actually agree with him for a change
By Spiro Zavos, 20 Mar 2014 Spiro Zavos is a Roar Expert
We all know refereeing a rugby match is a taxing job. The laws of rugby are complex. Dozens of events are taking place at any given time.
A referee has to have the depth of knowledge of a High Court judge and the ability to make instant decisions with the accuracy of a sharp-shooter.
As such, we can tolerate the occasional mistake made on the run. But what is totally unacceptable is mistakes made after the use of the television match official.
The TMO effectively takes the instant decision-making out of the equation and provides the referee and the TMO official with the time and the evidence to make accurate decisions.
This is the context in which Lyndon Bray’s intervention in the controversy of three tries, two awarded against the Blues – one in the match against the Bulls and the other in the match against the Lions – and another try in the Bulls-Force match, needs to be considered.
The SANZAR referees boss made this comment about the Lions ‘try’: “Lions 13 is carrying the ball and about to score a try. Blues 13 effects a tackle and Lions 13 lose possession…”
Bray also made it clear prop Marcel van der Merwe’s try against the Blues, which gave the Bulls a crucial bonus point and secured a victory, was a “clear double movement”.
In the Bulls-Rebels match there was another clear double movement, with the body of the scorer being pushed forward a second time before the try was scored.
Anyone with knowledge of the laws (which excludes most commentators!) watching these incidents had to come to the same judgment. Yet three sets of referees and TMO officials came to different conclusions.
Bray seems to imply that by explaining mistakes have been made this makes things OK. This is as unacceptable as the actual mistakes themselves.
In the case of the Bulls’ player having the ball knocked out of his hand, the referee, Stuart Berry, went out of his way to tell the TMO (incorrectly) the ball was not knocked on but “knocked out of the hand”. Even the commentators found this comment hard to accept.
The Blues have been deprived of valuable tournament points by these officials making elementary mistakes. Nothing can be done to bring back these points. It is cold comfort for Blues coach Sir John Kirwan that his unusual (I wish it were more usual!) criticism of poor refereeing has been acknowledged.
However, another boot in this controversy needs to drop. The referees and TMO officials need to be stood down until Bray becomes sure they are competent to referee in the hardest, most competitive provincial rugby tournament in world rugby. And Bray needs to look once again at the policy of having local referees in mixed conference matches.
The integrity of Super Rugby results lies with the integrity of the refereeing process. Part of the integrity of the process is referees and TMOs must be accountable for their mistakes, not just the unfortunate team that has been punished by them.
Over to you, Lyndon Bray: justice must be done for the Blues and seen to be done.
Spiro Zavos, a founding writer on The Roar, was long time editorial writer on the Sydney Morning Herald, where he started a rugby column that has run for nearly 30 years. Spiro has written 12 books: fiction, biography, politics and histories of Australian, New Zealand, British and South African rugby. He is regarded as one of the foremost writers on rugby throughout the world.
@ nortierd:
Fark me it is like the Bulls have played 20 games more than everyone else so far this year hahaha
Or this guy has a SERIOUS obsession regarding the Bulls, what a clown.
Stormersboy wrote:
Lost in translation?
Hypocrite talking about refereeing making the right decisions when referring to the TMO, while he can’t even write a properly factual article.
Thanks for making my day Nortie hehe
MacroBull wrote:
Some of them should run the turnstile for Boswell Wilkie.
In the Bulls-Rebels match there was another clear double movement, with the body of the scorer being pushed forward a second time before the try was scored.
Hang about, the Bulls haven’t played the Rebels yet this season.
How does he know what is going to happen? MATCHFIXING!
I hope on of the referees write to the Roar requesting that Spiro gets punished for writing shitty blogs?
Great sense of humour. Love it.
Maybe Suzy was their own after all.
The New Zealand Rugby Union have confirmed All Blacks Cory Jane and Israel Dagg were under the influence of sleeping pills during their infamous night out during the 2011 Rugby World Cup.
NZRU chief executive Steve Tew said today he believed the pair had been involved in a “silly” competition to see who could stay up the longest in the build up to the Cup quarter-final against Argentina.
The incident made headlines at the time as being fuelled by alcohol, but at no point was the use of sleeping pills mentioned publicly by All Blacks management.
Tew denied that was a cover up, saying the issue of sleeping pills in sport was not a “red flag issue” at the time.
“It wasn’t a cover up. These are private employment matters too. Remember we are bound by some stringent legislation as is everybody else in this country is,” he said. “The incident that occurred that night was at a level where it was dealt with internally by the team.”
The All Blacks had been confounded by Jane and Dagg’s actions at the time with their main concern the fact they were out drinking a few days before such an important match.
“At the time we struggled to understand how taking a sleeping pill could keep you up late at night and getting into trouble. It still seems counter intuitive doesn’t it.
“They were drinking. There’s no question about that. At the time there was mention of sleeping pills but the key was they were out past the curfew, they were drinking two or three days before the quarterfinal.
“They let the team down, they let themselves down and it was dealt with as we’d expect them to be dealt with… As I understand it it was almost as silly as let’s have some sleeping pills and see who can stay up the longest.”
At the time it had been viewed as an isolated incident rather than a sign of a wider issue.
That view has changed since revelations the Kiwis rugby league side had used a cocktail of sleeping pills and energy drinks at their World Cup last year.
Tew was unsure if Jane and Dagg had done the same in 2011 when they were seen acting strangely in a bar in Takapuna.
“I do not know there were any energy drinks involved, I was not the bar person involved so I can’t tell you.”
Tew said it remained unclear how common the practice was in rugby, but there had not been any similar incidents he was aware of since 2011.
“If it happened now with the issue we have around the use of sleeping pills and energy drinks … then we would have probably taken a different course of action, but at the time it was not a hot topic.”
The NZRU were investigating the practice, but were not calling for a ban on sleeping pills or prescription drugs in rugby.
Sleeping pills were administered on an “as needs and very scarce basis”, but were an essential tool for players operating in a sport that required them to regularly fly through multiple time zones.
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“For people who travel in and out of time zones on long haul flights, sleeping pills are used by some people in a clinical sense in that regard.”
Tew said the NZRU’s medical staff were highly trained and trusted, licensed and lived by a high set of moral standards.
@ superBul:
It seems like Naka, Corey J and Izzy D having been hanging out together.
Now Spiros is a genuine clown.
@ Loosehead:
Us Buulls are almost in the same position, hope i am wrong. Like they say i Cricket take the score and add 2 more wickets and ask yourself is it a great score? We could be 2 from 6 in 2 weeks. Sharks and Chiefs at home before we tour. This is a tough competition thats for sure.
I checked the 2013 logs at the same time after 25% is played or after round 5. With byes and SA,s earlier start and last years Aussie early start it is not exact but.
Bulls 2013 4th, played 4 won 3, Log points 13, tries for 9 vs 12
Bulls 2014 6th, played 4 won 2, log points 10, tries for 6 vs 7
Cheetahs 2013 9th, played 4 won 2 log points 9, tries for 9 vs 13
Cheetahs 2014 15th, played 5 won 1 log points 5, tries for 10 vs 19
Bulls defense better in 2014? Cheetas 2014 worse
Cheetah game plan is now well known, so last years play is now beaten by a run at all cost game plan. Even being in a better position in 2013 the Cheetahs conceded way too many tries. How can they turn it around , defending way better. But then they will also score less.
So i leave it rather to Naka to find a solution.
The Cheetahs had an awesome year last year and deserved all the credit and praise that they received.
Things is, that is more the exception than the rule, and this year has seen them come down with a bit of a bump. Still it’s a long season as everyone knows and it’s a bit early, IMO to be writing any of the SA teams off yet.
I would still back them to take down some big names this year. Local and overseas.
Same with the Stormers. Underestimate or write them off at your peril.
51 @ Stormersboy:
I don’t know of any TRUE Rugby supporter that stops supporting “their” team when the performances go pear shaped, but the truth of the matter is that it’s extremely difficult to recover in SR after a p1ss poor start.
The competition grinds away at resources in terms of injuries, and the chances of rectifying a start like the Cheetahs’ have had is minimal to say the least.
@ Scrumdown:
maybe, and hen i think of a recovery by the Cheetahs I don’t think of a top 6 spot but rather something around the middle of the table.
@ Stormersboy:
Agreed I have the Cheetahs Stormers and Bulls to all pull off upsets this weekend.
That Blues side is hondkak and they’ve just come back from their tour.
@ gunther:
Yip, with you there.
SA to pull of an upset against the convicts??
Dead rubber and all that?
Stormersboy wrote:
Not the convicts sorry. Had a blond moment there
When Horak left Naka said the will not get a replacement defensive coach as the structures are there and they need to stay sharp.
Does he really lack the intellect to know the game keeps changing and all the other coaches worth their salt would have studies the Cheetahs after the great 2013?
Blues will murder them I feel this weekend
studied*
Flip vd Merwe out of Bull’s team
Damn, I just put him in my fantasy team and my replacement is Whitelock who has a bye
Just when I thought I would have a full 15 players scoring
59 @ nortierd:
Nortie,
You too slow boet. Beat you to it. Put that news down on the team sheets of this week thread.
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