I hate referees, bloodsuckers each and every one of them. They give me the shivers, from their cold staring fish-like eyes, their cruel salmonella induced twitchy mouths, their scaly exoskeleton, with its slug-like grey-bluish tinted qualities, sometimes called a skin, their limp-wristed, cold clammy hands, down to their sweat drenched, vomit inducing, skinny legs, ending in their silly verucca encrusted feet.
It’s fair to say then, given their outward appearance, they’d be locked up somewhere in a dark and damp asylum, frequently entertained by dancing chimpanzees, or whatever it is that their warped little minds could manifest.
OK, before I delve too deep into the more macabre nature of those sh#t-for-brains bastards, calling themselves referees, let me take off my supporter’s apparel and try to look at this from a neutral, more level-headed position.
Everyone wishes that all referees can be used as disposable extras in alien movies, the extras that usually get shot to bits right at the start, but unfortunately, they aren’t going anywhere, they are part and parcel to one of the greatest games ever invented on the infamous Isle of Mud. Sadly for our muddy cousins, it is also another of those games that was invented by them, just to be perfected by everyone else on the planet, excepting them.
But, if we are to be honest, and I am talking BRUTALLY honest, most of our complaints against these knights of whistle-ington, are merely to detract from the imperfections and mistakes of our own teams.
Being in charge, and trying to control 30 war-crazed barbarians every week cannot be an easy vocation to surrender yourself into. Yet we expect the poor man in the middle to never make a mistake, even though, at any one time, there are 30 bloody mongrels on a pitch measuring 50 x 100 trying to get away with any kind of ill-conceived advantage that they can muster.
A brilliant example was the Bulls / Hurricanes match in Pretoria, with Steve Walsh in charge. I thought he had a brilliant game in Cape Town the previous week and was looking forward to another. At the end of the game, being a neutral observer, I wasn’t in the slightest perturbed by any one of his calls, as I felt he was consistent both ways, maybe not brilliant, but at least consistent.
Then, shock and horror, the next day, the press, the coaches and the general public wanted to tear him apart. Now, it would be normal practice if it was only for the benefit of one team, but no, the NZ Press were on his case, AND the South African press, moaning about how he cost and/or almost cost them the game. They moaned about the same areas, being the loose facets, and they both felt that they were hard done by. Geez guys, if he blew up both teams in the same area, in whose favour was it then? I personally think this proves that even though he might’ve got a call wrong here and there, both teams suffered equally, and if any of the teams involved actually played smart rugby, the referee would never have had to become as involved as he did.
Steve Walsh is but one example, but there are loads, Chris White, Stuart Dickinson, Pro Legoete, Willie D…uh…Roos, to name but a few, Lions fans I see, are currently after Dickinson because of a certain penalty try a few hours ago.
With the exception of Eddie Jones, South Africans are always the first to get up and blame the referee if the results don’t go our way, and I think that is a mindset that we need to change as soon as possible. If a team genuinely plays good enough, they will triumph whatever the whistleblower does, life always favours the brave.
I remember when I was still playing rugby, I would see it as an achievement every time I managed to screw over the ref. Today still, many players have the same mindset, and the mere fact that a ref makes his way out onto that field, game after game, needs to be seen as an achievement in the wake of such adversity.
South African refs are the best in the world, simply because we South Africans are the biggest whiners on the planet, so they always try to put in that little bit extra, just to get us off their backs. But we are expecting too much, of people that are merely human beings, like the rest of us.
Let’s hope our teams put in such great performances, that one or two blows of the whistle can’t make a difference to the result, and spare a thought for the poor bloke in the middle, who is a disciple of the sport, in one of the toughest positions imaginable.
OK, now I will revert back to my position as a loyal supporter of the game and the Stormers, and a passionate disbeliever in any person, referee or otherwise, who says my side makes mistakes. Screw all of them, bloody idiots must open their eyes!
The Saint
Dont blame the ref when you get your tips WRONG!!!
😆
Liked the article just too funny to be taken seriously!!
Lions got a penalty try against vs brumbies and now this game….same ref?
If not it has to be the Lion.
Good Night
Swim between the flags!!
Hey, funny doesn’t mean it’s not serious.
4 – Walla, Good night….hahaha. You up late mate? You must have celebrated long……hahaha.
Well Saint, Sharks had some shocking calls from refs this year. In not one but a few games.
Now watching that kiwi show last night, heard the commentators say the ref for the Sharks/Canes game is not up to much. Heard Mexted say the same this morning about that ref for our game tomorrow, while watching the Lions game this morning. Have no idea who is reffing the Sharks/Cane game tomorrow. Just hope he does get it mostly right. Spoils the game really when a ref really does get it very wrong. Some bad calls are fine but ones that cost you the game is not on.
Agree though, teams should put enough points on the board so how bad the ref is should not matter.
Cheers out of here now. Back later for the Cheetahs game.
A research crew, willing to investigate the secrets of long life, goes to a home for elders. They see a very old man and ask: “Sir, what is the secret for living long?” The old man replies: ” To keep a very severe routine, wake up early and lead a life full of exercise”. They ask another one the same question. ” I never smoked, never drank. And always kept a very healthy diet.” Then they notice a man, who is certainly the eldest in that home. “Well, I really lived life! I´ve smoked two packs a day since I was 16. I would always be seen in bars, on every bender around you would find me… no routine, just living life to its edge.” The interviewer, who is completely amazed by this very very old man, asks: “Oh really, sir? Would you tell us how old are you? “36, darling, 36… don´t I look great?”
I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me. (Henny Youngman)
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read: “Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I’ll be home before midnight. – Your Husband.” When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows: “Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don’t wait up.”
Before we got engaged he never farted. Now it’s a second language. (Caroline Rhea)
I come from a big family… 14 kids. I didn’t sleep alone until I got married.
They say marriage is a contract. No it’s not. Contracts come with warranties. When something goes wrong, you can take it back to the manufacturer. If your husband starts acting up, you can’t take him back to his mama’s house. “I don’t know… he just stopped working. He’s just laying around making a funny noise.” (Wanda Sykes)
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
On wisdom, Confucius say…
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
War not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who sit on tack get point!
Man who jump off cliff, jump to conclusion!
Man stuck in pantry have ass in jam.
When called an idiot sometimes is better to be quiet than to open mouth and remove all doubt.
Man who behaves like an ass will be the butt of those who crack jokes.
He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing.
Man who put head on railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache.
He who buries a man’s wife alive, should not expect to sit at that man’s dinner table without the subject coming up.
Man who eats photo of father, soon spitting-image of father.
Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get tone of A flat miner.
Wise man never play leapfrog with unicorn.
Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.
Man who fly airplane upside-down bound to have crack up.
Confucius say too damn much.
On hygiene, Confucius say…
Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.
Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters in his own hands.
Man who take sleeping pill and laxative on the same night will wake up in deep shit.
A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.
House without toilet is uncanny.
Man who cut self while shaving, lose face.
He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
Man who stick foot in mouth get athlete’s tongue.
Man that go to bed with itchy butt wake up with sticky fingers.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Grease monkey who go to bed without bathing wake up oily in the morning.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
On sex, Confucius say…
Virginity like bubble: one prick, all gone.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.
Man kicked in testicles left holding bag.
Woman who wear jockstrap have make believe ballroom.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Secretary not permanent fixture until screwed on top of desk.
Hole happy, whole body happy.
Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
Don’t drink and park, accidents cause people.
Dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs.
State of pregnancy exist when woman takes seriously something poked in fun.
Man who plays with self, pulls boner.
Passionate kiss like spider’s web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house.
Man trapped in brothel get jerked around.
Man’s wife his better half, his mistress his better whole.
It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.
Man have more hair on chest than woman, but on whole woman have more.
Girl who have red hair have red hair, by cracky.
Man who lay woman on ground gets piece on earth.
Man who suck woman’s tit make clean breast of things.
Woman laid in tomb may soon become mummy.
Man who lay girl on hillside is not on the level.
Man who jizz in cash register come into money.
Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
Man who marries girl with no bust have right to feel low down.
Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.
Don’t sweat the petty stuff … and don’t pet the sweaty stuff.
Having a bad Referee officiating is like playing in terrible rainy and muddy weather… he becomes the leveller, he disrupts the flow, he virtually makes play more difficult… so often in games like that the opposition seems tougher than what they actually are.
What gets my goat though is when a Referee is blatantly unfair to only 1 of the 2 teams on the field… then it is like one team plays in lousy weather and the other playing under brilliant conditions…
2 Extremely lousy decisions means a 14-point shift, often enough…. 14 farking points….
So saying that a bad Referee who is consistent both ways is OK is utter farking ma-se-moer-se crap….
There are bonus points at stake… and that makes or breaks a season for a few of the Super 14 Teams EACH bloody year!
If you’re a bad Referee, kindly piss off…. let the good ones handle the games!
cheers guys
chat again on monday!!
20@ Asbak – Cheers Confusius
GBS I am not saying it is good, but albeit that the game might not be spectacular, the stronger team will win nonetheless. So, leave the ref, play the game.
19 – GBS…hahahaha. Must say have to agree there. It not only costs you bonus points boeta, but a WIN which is even worse.
Back to neutral refs I say. The best there is from the NH that way we know we have a neutral ref.
A ref does not cost a team a win.
Lets look at the reverse…watching a team win when the ref gives the opposition the rub of the green over and over.
Blaming a ref for a loss is just redirecting the blame.
Teams who are accountable learn and train to be mentally tough to overcome these obstacles…the ref is going to make mistakes…there is never a ref who does it deliberately.
If a team cannot overcome the refs inadequacies then they dont deserve to win or be called champions.
All of this is such Bullshit !!!
Will argue it later… 😆
Puma, Northern Hemisphere referees?
If you think that the current crop is bad, you will break down crying if those inadequate plonkers get their teeth into Super 14 rugby.
Chris White, Allain Rolland, that little prick from England (No I am not talking about Prince Charles’ gentleman’s area), Wayne Barnes, Tony Spreadbury. We can cancel super-rugby, because it will be the end of spectacular gameplay.
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