Sometimes it is hard to tell which is worse? Finding out that the cute chick that you just played tonsil hockey with, is actually a dude, or coming to the end of yet another rugby season, with no trophies, no honour and still maintaining that the Stormers is the best team in SA.
Even the most die-hard Stormer supporter will tell you, (in confidence, and never on a game day), that it takes balls to support probably the most disappointing franchise in world rugby history. To re-visit the past glory of our southern-most rugby province, is useless, because little of what has made province great is left to brag about, and frankly, it is a horse that has been flogged to death.
No-one wants to hear that WP holds the record for the most Currie Cups, or that the Stormers is the only SA franchise, never to end in last place in super rugby, because honestly it means nothing. The Stormers won shite, and if you don’t end first, and you don’t end last, it means you are average, and personally I’d rather be a plonker than being just average.
Professionalism has not been kind to the Stormers/WP. As the bastion of amateur rugby, following in the hallowed steps of ‘Doc’, the amateur WP swept up all before them, as opposed to the professional team that regularly gets swept up. A major part of the problem seems to be the inability of the WPRU in admitting that they make mistakes, and even worse, is the fact that they seem to believe that great publicity can somehow make up for poor performance.
Without delving into boardroom issues, I will prove my point using only one well publicized fact. Props. Yes, props, they are not glamorous, they are rarely attractive, they do not own any skincare or haircare products, and they are never used on billboards to sell your brand or your franchise to the female gender, or to any gender at all for that matter. But they seem to quite integral to successful rugby.
For the past 8 years, there hasn’t been a prop anywhere near the Cape of Good Hope, the last one leaving for Europe when the Rand was still considered currency outside of SA.
Players that were brought in were guys like Joe van Niekerk, Willem de Waal, Sireli Naqelevuki, Conrad Jantjes, Enrico January, Gcobani Bobo, Jaque Fourie, Brian Habana, Schalk Brits, Duane Vermeulen, Percy Montgomery and Brian Mujati to name but a few, all high profile, all selling the brand, all icons in their own right, but, all useless when it comes to scrumming, (Yes I know Mujati is part of my list, what of it?).
Being murdered at scrum-time became the province modus operandi, the mere fact that they were never whitewashed in a single competition, clearly proves that there is enough talent to go around, but playing a 15-man game with 10 men (7 Backs + 3 Loosies) will never bring forward any trophies. Their whole game being built on helter-skelter rugby, meant that there was shit to pay, should even a moderately structured team visit Newlands.
Rassie Erasmus has yet to deliver on his promises regarding the boys from the Cape, however, a slight return to structure, as well as a decent Currie Cup performance in 2009 (albeit with Coetzee and Proudfoot at the helm), sparked some excitement amongst long suffering province supporters. Still no signings of props are to be found anywhere, but at least the guy teaching the other guys to scrum now, has been doing some scrumming himself.
It became clear in 2009 why Jake White hung onto Alistair Coetzee for dear life during his campaigns, it was not what Coetzee brought to the field in a coaching capacity, it was his ability to manage people. Alistair Coetzee is a people-person, and nowhere can evidence of this be clearer than the 2009 WP team, under the leadership of Luke Watson, a man described by John Smit as a cancer, he managed to forge a brotherhood of sorts, for the first time in eons, WP looked like they actually wanted to win.
If this form continues into the S14? Who knows…
The Team
The Stormers tight 5 has been together now for quite a while, in the past they were considered pansies, but Werner Kruger will tell you that that is now something of the past, hopefully.
Blaauw, Harris, Liebenberg, Moller, Fourie and Kritzinger have proven themselves in the CC. Now it is time to step up, Super Rugby has never been about the scrum, but it sure helps if you have one. The only concern might be Kritzinger and Moller being played out of position, but that is nothing that can’t be sorted out as the season progresses.
In the second row Bekker and Van Zyl will probably be given the grunt of the work, however, should Fondse return, it will be hard to deny him, his work ethic is incredible, and the season might just play out with Fondse and Van Zyl competing for the same Springbok jersey. As backup De Kock Steenkamp was more than adequate in the games he played, in fact he played very much like a loose-forward, while Martin Muller could be some quality fresh legs on the bench.
The loose game has never been a problem in SA rugby, leading from the front is Schalk Burger, followed by Vermeulen, Pieter and Francois Louw, and Alwyn Myburgh, so depth seems ok, but hey this is South Africa, maybe there is one or two unknown loosies that ends the year as superstars.
In Dewald Duvenhage, Enrico Januarie and Bolla Conradie the Stormers have more than enough ammunition to weather any winds, add to that flyhalf convert Conrad Hoffman, and you are looking at an impressive line-up of members from the long-pass tribe, with ironically Hoffman, as probably the pick of the lot.
Apart from the Bulls the Stormers is the only SA franchise who also possess at least a semblance of depth at flyhalf, with Willem de Waal, Peter Grant, Lionel Cronje, Conrad Hoffman and Joe Pietersen all at least better than average in this position. In fact, Grant and Pietersen might be considered elsewhere in the backline on merit alone, quite a versatile bunch this. Lionel Cronje showed some semblance of brilliance in the 40-odd minutes of game time he received in the 2010 season, and he might be more that only WP’s savior, national duty beckons in this young man’s future, Rassie may have made the purchase of the decade.
New acquisition Jacque Fourie obviously heads the centre line-up, but is held in check by probable partner Peter Grant, upcoming superstar Juan de Jongh, Dylan des Fountain, Frikkie Welsch, Morgan Newman and the promising Paul Bosch rounding off the line-up. The midfield will certainly not be a place where many teams will try to pass through in 2010, apart from maybe Newman, all of the other centres are deadly defenders, and pain will probably be dealt, ferociously.
Speed merchants are something that the Cape has never been in short supply of, and now along with Habana, there is even more to go around. JJ Engelbrecht, Fabian Juries, Gio Aplon, Sireli (there goes another Currie Cup) Naqelevuki and probably Frikkie Welsch can deal as good as they get, and with Joe Pietersen and Conrad Jantjes guarding the final frontier, you can be sure to expect running, lots of it.
All in all, there are no obvious shortages in personnel, and as such, no space for error.
2010 promises to be a make or break year for the WP and the Stormers. Never before has either team had so little excuses for failure. A mere superrugby semi-final, might not be enough.
Forwards:
Wicus Blaauw, JC Kritzinger, JD Moller, Brock Harris, Eusibio Guinizau, Tiaan Liebenberg, Deon Fourie, Hanyani Shimange, Andries Bekker, Anton van Zyl, Adriaan Fondse, De Kock Steenkamp, Martin Muller, Schalk Burger (c), Duane Vermeulen, Pieter Louw, Francois Louw, Pieter Myburgh, Conraad Britz.
Backs:
Dewaldt Duvenhage, Ricky Januarie, Bolla Conradie, Conrad Hoffmann, Willem de Waal, Lionel Cronje, Peter Grant, Juan de Jongh, Jaque Fourie, Paul Bosch, Dylan des Fountain, Frikkie Welsch, Fabian Juries, Bryan Habana, Gio Aplon, Sireli Naqelevuki, Nick Koster, JJ Engelbrecht, Joe Pietersen, Conrad Jantjes.
men are so simple
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt…Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, ‘What setting do I use on the washing machine?’
‘It depends,’ Ireplied. ‘What does it say on your shirt?’
He yelled back, ‘OHIO STATE!’
And they say blondes are dumb…
———————————————————–
A couple is lying in bed. The man says,’I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.’
The woman replies,’I’ll miss you…’
——————————————————-
‘It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,’Jack says as he stepped out of the shower,’honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?’
‘Probably that I married you for your money,’ she replied.
——————————————-
Q: What do you
call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor!
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A man and his wife,now in their 60’s, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger…
Whoosh…immediately he turned 90!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I’ll beat him to death. AMEN
——————————————————————————————
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the email folder ‘Instruction Manuals’
Puma, not on TV, but Isigidi will give us updates from CT.
Puma and Snoekie – will join before the week is over. But i warn you i will drag us Sharks suppporters points down cause i do things with my heart and not my head.
180 – Snoek, Cheers boet. Rain here too but no thunder.
181 – No sis man, this is a decent blog. 😉
183 – Treehugs, You wont drag our points down. We don’t really play as a group but individuals. So don’t worry about it. I AM RUBBISH at predictions but still play it. Just a bit of fun. Join it now why wait? Two Bulls Ladies there now we need a Shark Lady.
Ashley 😆
Byeee Snoekie
Ok i’m gone till 7pm.
and some good news for the guys on here
…
i have finally figured out the “rules of engagement”, also known as “rules for the married man”!!
* The female always makes the rules.
* The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
* No male can possibly know all the rules.
* If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all the rules.
* The female is never wrong.
* If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.
* If the previous Rule applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
* The female can change her mind at any given point in time for any reason.
* The male must never change his mind without express written consent from the female.
* The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
* The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
* The female must not, under any circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
* Any attempt by the male to document these rules could result in severe bodily harm.
* If the female has PMS, all rules are null and void
Am off to feed Puma Byeeeeeeeeee
snoek @ 185
lol
Tell a man
Tell a man there are 300 million stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he’ll have to touch it to make sure.
182 – Snoek, Good. I am going out to dinner so will join up here after about 8pm. Hope not to have missed too much by then.
191 – Treehugs, Did I scare you off….hahaha. Join later then okay?
You will be doing the feeding in the rain no doubt. It is pouring down here.
Chemical composition of women
Element Name: Woman
Periodic Chart Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Generally accepted as 110 lbs., but known to vary from 110 to 550 lbs.
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Surface usually covered with a painted film.
2. Boils with no provocation.
3. Freezes up solid unexpectedly.
4. Melts if given special treatment.
5. Bitter if incorrectly used or ignored.
6. Yields to pressure applied to certain points.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones such as diamonds, rubies and sapphires among others.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning or reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.
COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports car.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.
TESTS
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
2. Turns green with envy when placed beside a better specimen.
3. Defies proper aging analysis techniques.
HAZARDS
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one at a time although several can be maintained at different locations as long as the specimens do not come into contact with each other.
181 – Ash, 😆
The day we got married
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, and he appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
What’s the matter dear?, she whispers as she steps into the room. Why are you sitting down here this time of the night? The husband looks up from his coffee, Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16? he asks solemnly. Yes, I do she replies.
The husband paused, the words were not coming easily. Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?. Yes I remember, said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued. Do you remember when he shoved the double barrel shotgun in my face and said, “Either you marry my daughter, or I’ll send you to jail for 20 years.” Yes I remember that too. She whispered softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said,
“I would be getting out today”!
Full of advice
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, “I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.”
The driver says, “Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.”
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: “Now don’t be silly dear, you know that this car doesn’t have cruise control.”
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, “Can’t you please keep your mouth shut for once?”
The wife smiles demurely and says, “You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.”
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at this wife and says through clenched teeth, “Darn it, woman, can’t you keep your mouth shut?”
The officer frowns and says, “And I notice that you’re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That’s an automatic $75 fine.”
The driver says, “Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.”
The wife says, “Now, dear, you know very well that you didn’t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you’re driving.”
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, “WHY DON’T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??”
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, “Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma’am?”
Says the women
….
“Only when he’s been drinking.” 😆
When will the Stormers learn that , like the Sharks, you have to develop a team? Money can’t buy trophies.
My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don’t be upset – I shall be home before midnight.”
When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:
“My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about me being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a maths teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach.
He is young, virile, and like your secretary, 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of maths, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference – 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.
Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.”
and the last one for the day
>>>>>>>>>>
GUTS – is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: “Maak jy nog skoon of vlieg jy iewers heen?”
BALLS – is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say: “Jy’s volgende , vetgat.”
9 words
1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6.) That’s Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.
8.) Whatever : Is a women’s way of saying F@!K YOU!
9.) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.Then you RUN!
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