Sometimes it is hard to tell which is worse? Finding out that the cute chick that you just played tonsil hockey with, is actually a dude, or coming to the end of yet another rugby season, with no trophies, no honour and still maintaining that the Stormers is the best team in SA.

Even the most die-hard Stormer supporter will tell you, (in confidence, and never on a game day), that it takes balls to support probably the most disappointing franchise in world rugby history. To re-visit the past glory of our southern-most rugby province, is useless, because little of what has made province great is left to brag about, and frankly, it is a horse that has been flogged to death.

No-one wants to hear that WP holds the record for the most Currie Cups, or that the Stormers is the only SA franchise, never to end in last place in super rugby, because honestly it means nothing. The Stormers won shite, and if you don’t end first, and you don’t end last, it means you are average, and personally I’d rather be a plonker than being just average.

Professionalism has not been kind to the Stormers/WP. As the bastion of amateur rugby, following in the hallowed steps of ‘Doc’, the amateur WP swept up all before them, as opposed to the professional team that regularly gets swept up. A major part of the problem seems to be the inability of the WPRU in admitting that they make mistakes, and even worse, is the fact that they seem to believe that great publicity can somehow make up for poor performance.

Without delving into boardroom issues, I will prove my point using only one well publicized fact. Props. Yes, props, they are not glamorous, they are rarely attractive, they do not own any skincare or haircare products, and they are never used on billboards to sell your brand or your franchise to the female gender, or to any gender at all for that matter. But they seem to quite integral to successful rugby.

For the past 8 years, there hasn’t been a prop anywhere near the Cape of Good Hope, the last one leaving for Europe when the Rand was still considered currency outside of SA.

Players that were brought in were guys like Joe van Niekerk, Willem de Waal, Sireli Naqelevuki, Conrad Jantjes, Enrico January, Gcobani Bobo, Jaque Fourie, Brian Habana, Schalk Brits, Duane Vermeulen, Percy Montgomery and Brian Mujati to name but a few, all high profile, all selling the brand, all icons in their own right, but, all useless when it comes to scrumming, (Yes I know Mujati is part of my list, what of it?).

Being murdered at scrum-time became the province modus operandi, the mere fact that they were never whitewashed in a single competition, clearly proves that there is enough talent to go around, but playing a 15-man game with 10 men (7 Backs + 3 Loosies) will never bring forward any trophies. Their whole game being built on helter-skelter rugby, meant that there was shit to pay, should even a moderately structured team visit Newlands.

Rassie Erasmus has yet to deliver on his promises regarding the boys from the Cape, however, a slight return to structure, as well as a decent Currie Cup performance in 2009 (albeit with Coetzee and Proudfoot at the helm), sparked some excitement amongst long suffering province supporters. Still no signings of props are to be found anywhere, but at least the guy teaching the other guys to scrum now, has been doing some scrumming himself.

It became clear in 2009 why Jake White hung onto Alistair Coetzee for dear life during his campaigns, it was not what Coetzee brought to the field in a coaching capacity, it was his ability to manage people. Alistair Coetzee is a people-person, and nowhere can evidence of this be clearer than the 2009 WP team, under the leadership of Luke Watson, a man described by John Smit as a cancer, he managed to forge a brotherhood of sorts, for the first time in eons, WP looked like they actually wanted to win.

If this form continues into the S14? Who knows…

The Team

The Stormers tight 5 has been together now for quite a while, in the past they were considered pansies, but Werner Kruger will tell you that that is now something of the past, hopefully.

Blaauw, Harris, Liebenberg, Moller, Fourie and Kritzinger have proven themselves in the CC. Now it is time to step up, Super Rugby has never been about the scrum, but it sure helps if you have one. The only concern might be Kritzinger and Moller being played out of position, but that is nothing that can’t be sorted out as the season progresses.

In the second row Bekker and Van Zyl will probably be given the grunt of the work, however, should Fondse return, it will be hard to deny him, his work ethic is incredible, and the season might just play out with Fondse and Van Zyl competing for the same Springbok jersey. As backup De Kock Steenkamp was more than adequate in the games he played, in fact he played very much like a loose-forward, while Martin Muller could be some quality fresh legs on the bench.

The loose game has never been a problem in SA rugby, leading from the front is Schalk Burger, followed by Vermeulen, Pieter and Francois Louw, and Alwyn Myburgh, so depth seems ok, but hey this is South Africa, maybe there is one or two unknown loosies that ends the year as superstars.

In Dewald Duvenhage, Enrico Januarie and Bolla Conradie the Stormers have more than enough ammunition to weather any winds, add to that flyhalf convert Conrad Hoffman, and you are looking at an impressive line-up of members from the long-pass tribe, with ironically Hoffman, as probably the pick of the lot.

Apart from the Bulls the Stormers is the only SA franchise who also possess at least a semblance of depth at flyhalf, with Willem de Waal, Peter Grant, Lionel Cronje, Conrad Hoffman and Joe Pietersen all at least better than average in this position. In fact, Grant and Pietersen might be considered elsewhere in the backline on merit alone, quite a versatile bunch this. Lionel Cronje showed some semblance of brilliance in the 40-odd minutes of game time he received in the 2010 season, and he might be more that only WP’s savior, national duty beckons in this young man’s future, Rassie may have made the purchase of the decade.

New acquisition Jacque Fourie obviously heads the centre line-up, but is held in check by probable partner Peter Grant, upcoming superstar Juan de Jongh, Dylan des Fountain, Frikkie Welsch, Morgan Newman and the promising Paul Bosch rounding off the line-up. The midfield will certainly not be a place where many teams will try to pass through in 2010, apart from maybe Newman, all of the other centres are deadly defenders, and pain will probably be dealt, ferociously.

Speed merchants are something that the Cape has never been in short supply of, and now along with Habana, there is even more to go around. JJ Engelbrecht, Fabian Juries, Gio Aplon, Sireli (there goes another Currie Cup) Naqelevuki and probably Frikkie Welsch can deal as good as they get, and with Joe Pietersen and Conrad Jantjes guarding the final frontier, you can be sure to expect running, lots of it.

All in all, there are no obvious shortages in personnel, and as such, no space for error.

2010 promises to be a make or break year for the WP and the Stormers. Never before has either team had so little excuses for failure. A mere superrugby semi-final, might not be enough.

Forwards:

Wicus Blaauw, JC Kritzinger, JD Moller, Brock Harris, Eusibio Guinizau, Tiaan Liebenberg, Deon Fourie, Hanyani Shimange, Andries Bekker, Anton van Zyl, Adriaan Fondse, De Kock Steenkamp, Martin Muller, Schalk Burger (c), Duane Vermeulen, Pieter Louw, Francois Louw, Pieter Myburgh, Conraad Britz.

Backs:

Dewaldt Duvenhage, Ricky Januarie, Bolla Conradie, Conrad Hoffmann, Willem de Waal, Lionel Cronje, Peter Grant, Juan de Jongh, Jaque Fourie, Paul Bosch, Dylan des Fountain, Frikkie Welsch, Fabian Juries, Bryan Habana, Gio Aplon, Sireli Naqelevuki, Nick Koster, JJ Engelbrecht, Joe Pietersen, Conrad Jantjes.