Here are some humor that i have found on the net.

Ian Robertson and the Malt Whisky

On BBC Radio 5 Live, Will heard Ian Robertson* recount this true tale.
When England were in Scotland to play the Calcutta Cup it is always difficult to find somewhere to stay and impossible to book a table in any restaurant. This particular year Ian was entertaining some journalists and former players before the ‘big match’. He knew of a small place just outside Edinburgh to which he hadn’t been for more than 30 years.

On arrival at the pub he was greeted by the owner who said, ‘How marvelous to see you again, Mr. Robertson. I imagine you have come to pay the 1s/6d [approx. 8p] you owe us for the single malt whisky you drank when you were last here and forgot to pay for?’

*Note: Ian Robertson was former Scotland Rugby Union International; BBC Rugby commentator and correspondent. Interestingly Ian was also a former English teacher to Tony Blair at Fêtes College, Edinburgh.

Mr Indestructible

After JPR Williams was involved in a road traffic accident: Typical, isn’t it? The car’s a write-off. The tanker’s a write-off. But JPR comes out of it all in one piece. – Gareth Edwards

Teflon Hands

In my opinion, the Welsh rugby crowd is masters of coining nicknames. In the 1980’s Cardiff had a player called Gerald Cordle playing on the wing. He went through a bad patch, dropping pass after pass with the try line at his mercy. They took to calling him Teflon, because he had non-stick hands.

Will and Guy’s Top Ten Funny Rugby Quotations

These quotes may be old but we think you will smile because to a true rugby lover each tale defines that era.

Remember that rugby is a team game; all 14 of you make sure you pass the ball to Jonah. FAX to the All Blacks before the 1995 World Cup semi-final.

I think Brian Moore’s gnashers [teeth] are the kind you get from a DIY shop and hammer in yourself. He is the only player we have who looks like a French forward. Former England prop Paul Rendall on his front row colleague.

You’ve got to get your first tackle in early, even if it’s late. Welsh hard man Ray Gravell explains his rugby philosophy.

I played ten injury-free years between the ages of 12 and 22. Then, suddenly, it seemed like I was allergic to the twentieth century. Former England scrum-half Nigel Melville who spent most of the 1980s injured.

We’re going to tear those boys apart. Message pinned up on the changing room wall by England skipper Will Carling before his team ran out to face the All Blacks in the 1995 World Cup semi-final in Cape Town. It took at least 70 seconds for New Zealand to score their first try as they demolished England 45-29.

Don’t ask me about emotions in the Welsh dressing room. I’m someone who cries when he watches “Little House on the Prairie”. Former Welsh second row Bob Norster remembers that special Dragons’ atmosphere.

‘There’s no doubt about it, he’s a big b****rd,’ Gavin Hastings, master of the obvious, on Jonah Lomu.

The relationship between the Welsh and the English is based on trust and understanding. They don’t trust us and we don’t understand them. Former RFU supremo Dudley Wood on Anglo-Welsh relations.

If you can’t take a punch, you should play table tennis. Former French skipper and coach Pierre Berbizier illustrates his nation’s attitude to on-pitch violence.

‘A player of ours has been proven guilty of biting. That’s a scar that will never heal. Bath coach Andy Robinson after his prop Kevin Yates was suspended for taking a chunk out of an opposing flanker’s ear.

Some Clean, Funny, Rugby Shorts

Rugby is a good occasion for keeping thirty bullies far from the centre of the city. – Oscar Wilde

I’m still an amateur, of course, but I became rugby’s first millionaire five years ago. – David Campese [1991]

A major rugby tour by the British Isles to New Zealand is a cross between a medieval crusade and a prep school outing. – John Hopkins

On playing for Wales at Lansdowne Road, Dublin: I didn’t know what was going on at the start in the swirling wind. The flags were all pointing in different directions and I thought the Irish had starched them just to fool us. – Mike Watkins [1984]

On Jonah Lomu: I’ve seen a lot people like him, but they weren’t playing on the wing. – Colin Meads [1995].

Ray Gravell Eats Soft Centres. – Banner seen at Cardiff Arms Park.

Perfect Woman Competition in New Zealand

The owner of a bar in Wanaka is holding a competition to find the ‘perfect woman’, the prize is $NZ 1,000 and tickets for a rugby game.

Amongst the tasks the aspirants will be expected to undertake are:
Back a trailer load of hay
Change a car tyre
Clear a pool table
Darn a sock
Lift a ram into shearing position

As reported in the ‘Sun’ in Australia.