|
Die Bulls Supporter
a. Persoonlikheid
Jy, as die gemiddelde Bloubul ondersteuner, se IK verskyn agter op die rug
van jul kaptein se trui. Saterdae, vir 80 minute lank, roteer een breinsel
tussen jou en die 70 000 ander soos jy. “Liefling” en “Bloubul” was vooraf
in jou memory chip in geprogrammeer. Jy ry waarskynlik ‘n 4X4, dra
“two-tone” hemde, PT-broeke en rugbykouse. Jou selfoon is waarskynlik groter
as jou tottie, maar beslis kleiner as jou snor. Jou bek is die grootste op
enige “party”.
b. Gunsteling voertuig
Enigiets wat duurder as jou buurman s’n is. Waarskynlik ‘n Prado, Mercedes
of Audi.
c. Gunsteling Dop
Brannas en Castle, want dit maak jou dapper genoeg om jou vrou by die huis
te gaan probeer bliksem nadat jou span (alweer) verloor het
Sharks
a. Persoonlikheid
Jy is ‘n undercover moffie al het jy ‘n vrou en tien kinders. Jou vrou is
heel moontlik ook queer of alternatiewelik ‘n “sex change”. Jy dra Raybans
en fokken lelike klere. Jy het vasgesteek by Bob Marley en rook steeds boom
saam met jou oupa.
b. Gunsteling voertuig
Onder die dekmantel van “karre is wêreldsgoed” ry jy alles wat kak is omdat
jy niks beter kan bekostig nie.
c. Gunsteling Dop
Enigiets wat jy verniet kan kry. Sedert die einde van Lion Ale is jy basies
gefok!
Cheetahs
a. Persoonlikheid
Jy gee die konsep “oningelig” ‘n heeltemal nuwe betekenis. Besoekers aan
Bloemfontein beland elke keer by die Ford-garage wanneer hulle verwysings
vra na die naaste Escort Agency! Die enigste ding platter as jou provinsie
se vlaktes is jou kop. Die feit dat jy nog altyd dink dat die “stock
exchange” vendusie-krale is, is bewys hiervan.
b. Gunsteling Voertuig
Enigiets wat met diesel werk. Jy is diesel-befok. Selfs jou dogter se nuwe
vibrator is diesel-aangedrewe.
c. Gunsteling Dop
Shooters. Enige shooters. Vandat jou seun op Tukkies studeer, het shooters
veld gewen in jou provinsie.
Stormers
a. Persoonlikheid
Die enigste organisme meer arrogant as jy, word nog ontwikkel.. Jy verkeer
skynbaar onder die indruk dat alle lede van homo- sapiens moerse beïndruk is
met ‘n platberg, suurwyn en vrot snoek. Jou “laidback” lewensstyl is jou
verskoning om luigatgeit te regverdig. Jou idée van “foreplay” is ‘n
losskrum.
b. Gunsteling Voertuig
Iets met wiele, maar verkieslik rónde wiele.
c. Gunsteling Dop
Met die koms van Tik is dop nie meer belangrik nie, maar op die fly sal jy
waarskynlik ‘n paar mondevol bloutrein bitter moeilik kan weerstaan.
Lions
a. Persoonlikheid
Jou oumagrootjie was die eerste prostituut op die Johannesburgse goudvelde.
Jy gaan kyk net rugby op Ellispark as jou span wen. Ellispark is dus ‘n
uiters vreemde planeet vir jou. Anders as ander spanne se ondersteuners moer
jy jou vrou wanneer jou span wen. Dus is jou uitgebreide familie reeds vyf
geslagte sonder vroueslaners.
b. Gunsteling Voertuig
Enigiets wat maklik gesteel kan word.
c. Gunsteling Dop
Vodka, Black Label en Cutex-remover.
|
Ek het eers die donner in geraak en toe lees ek verder.
Dan het ek ‘n f***en groot foon… Hehehe
Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha Excellent!!!!!
😆 Had a good laugh…hahahaha.
Two boys are playing cricket on a field in Durban when one is attacked by a vicious Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy took his cricket bat and managed to wedge it down the dog’s collar and twist,luckily breaking the dog’s neck and stopping its attack. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.
“Young Sharks Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal, “he starts writing in his notebook.
“But I’m not a Sharks fan,” the little hero replied.
“Sorry, since we are in Durban, I just assumed you were,” said the reporter and starts again.
“Western Province Fan Rescues Friend from Horrific Attack …” he continued writing in his notebook.
“I’m not a Western Province fan either!” the boy said.
“I assumed everyone in Durban was either for the Sharks or Western Province.” “So what team DO you root for?” the reporter asked.
“I’m a Blue Bulls fan!” the child beamed.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes,
“Little Bastard from Pretoria Kills Beloved Family Pet.”
Koos and Japie from Bloemfontein were up in Joburg for the rugby when they saw this sign on a shop window:
Suits R20.00 each
Shirts R10.00 each
Trousers R8.00 per pair
Koos says to his pal. “Hey Japie, Look! We could buy a whole load of those clothes, and when we get back to the Bloem, we could resell them and make us a blerry fortune!”
“Now listen boet, when we go into the shop you keep your mouth shut, hey! Just let me do all the talking and wheeling and dealing stuff, ’cause if they hear your accent, they might try to rip us off. I’ll be giving them my best Vaalie accent so they think we’re locals.”
They go in and Koos says, “Excuse me sir, I’ll take 50 of your finest suits at R20.00 each, 100 shirts at R10.00 each, and 50 pairs of your trousers at R8.00 each. I will be paying in cash, and taking those items with me today, if you don’t mind.”
The owner of the shop interrupts, “You guys are from the Free State, aren’t you?”
“Errr….ja” says Koos, “how come you know?”
The owner says, “This is the dry-cleaners!”
GPSA co za
hehehe
Oud, maar nog steeds vars genoeg om almal se bloed te laat kook en ‘n glimlag om die mondhoeke te laar verskyn!
You are so wicked Loosehead. hahahahaha . Took me ages to try translate but was worth it. 😆
Users Online
Total 376 users including 0 member, 376 guests, 0 bot online
Most users ever online were 3735, on 31 August 2022 @ 6:23 pm
No Counter as from 31 October 2009: 41,823,294 Page Impressions
_