Stephen Jones of the London Sunday Times, writing his weekly syndicated e-mail, has poured derision on what he calls the myth of South Africa’s formidable props and scrummaging.
This is what the veteran Welsh rugby writer had to say:
”Once we get a supposed national characteristic into our heads, a national trait or a so-called national strength, there is no shifting it. It becomes a consuming dogma.
“You know the sort of thing: West Indies produce great fast bowlers. The French are rude and shocking drivers. The Scots are tight as ducks’ backsides. Wales produces wonderful sports journalists. Aussie and Kiwi referees are scandalously bad. Germans hog the towels on holiday. Well, most of these notions are just typecasting. Most.
“And South Africa produces great props. What a load of drivel. I admit it, I have subscribed to this hoary old rubbish. It is not true. It never was. South Africa is the home of Big Blokes Going Backwards. It is the elephant in the room of every South African rugby fan. Except that the elephant is docile and not half as dangerous as it looks. As with Bok props, if you say “Boo!” it will go away.
“Take this tour. Leicester’s reserve pack and Martin Castrogiovanni butchered the Boks at Welford Road. In Toulouse last Saturday, the Boks were beasted up front, embarrassed and shattered. On Tuesday night at Wembley, the reserve Sarries front row annihilated South Africa at scrum-time.
“It was ever thus. The first time I saw South Africa live was at dear old Rodney Parade and I could hardly watch the first few scrums as the tiny Newport props went down against those giants. Why worry? I can even recall that Newport won nine balls against the head. Yes, nine.
“At their very best, the Bok scrum is a holding operation. But in the last 20 years they have grossly over-rated a torrent of props, they have promoted others prematurely on grounds of race and they have still managed to be called a scrummaging nation. Why?
“The trick that they play on themselves is typified by the deification of Os du Randt, who was never remotely a great player or scrummager. A few years ago at Twickenham he was humiliated by the England front row. You felt sad for him. “Big bloke, but didn’t know what to do with it,” a scrum expert told me that night.
“A nation of scrummagers? More like a nation of Backwards Joggers. Scroll down to see our list of the week of Bok weaklings.
South Africa’s leading lard-bottoms
The pumped-up props for whom reverse gear is a way of life.
10. Wian du Preez – came on as a replacement for South Africa against Sarries on Tuesday at Wembley, hammered by Richard Skuse then ritually slaughtered by Carlos Nieto in the final quarter. Ran backwards.
9. B J Botha – when last I was in South Africa, one of the home prop-slobberers told me to watch out for BJ, he was something special. Indeed he was. He stayed hidden for 80 minutes.
8. C J van der Linde – shocking. He was beasted to kingdom come in the Wasps-Leinster Heineken match at Twickenham last season. Cue disappearance of CJ and enter unopposed scrums.
7. Lawrence Sephaka – still staggering about in France last time we heard. Was usually carted off at half-time in big games after being murdered in the scrum. Token-selection suspicions ahoy.
6. Gurthro Steenkamp – nice bloke, but he couldn’t scrummage your Auntie. Totally obliterated by Martin Castrogiovanni of Leicester at Welford Road last week. Would struggle for a beer-only contract in a local leagues outfit.
5. Ollie le Roux – great jolly barrel of a man. Enjoyed the odd gallop prior to a ten-minute break for wheezing and getting his breath back, but yet another Bok prop who was simply not at the races as a scrummager.
4. John Smit – a few years ago he was a decent hooker. Now, in answer to the savage dearth, he is a prop who, if he quickened up dramatically, would be military slow-medium.
3. Jannie du Plessis – smashed to pieces by the reserve Leicester front row last week. Big and chunky and a shame he kept missing the How to Prop seminars. No forward gears, apparently.
2. Tendai Mtawarira – even by the second-half of the first Test against the Lions we knew that his striking scrummaging against Phil Vickery in the first half had been a freak, aided by a ref who let him scrum with total illegality. In the rest of the series, including the return against Vickery in the third Test, he was demolished.
1. Os du Randt – the mountainous hero, the untouchable, four-square baldy of scrum-time, adored in the Republic. Especially by those whose televisions were on the blink when he was destroyed piece by piece and utterly humiliated by Julian White at Twickenham a few years ago.”
Jones, like the Springbok selectors, has obviously never heard of W.P. Nel or Coenie Oosthuizen!
Hey GBS, when is happy hour around here? Everytime I come to the site it is just one or 2 users online.
Am I the only one that noticed that ashley johnson thinks his forearms have the same power as popey’s? Not once did he join the hit with his head between the locks backside, shift then to saracens and the whole pack had a collective hit. That efectively gave us a 7 man scrum against sarries and leicester.
OK, let it roll…who is going to dish it out to us English first!! 😉
I am fairly certain the poison penned old queen Stephen Jones couldn’t utter a positive comment if you held a gun to his head ! He also would not recognise class rugby if it bit him on the a*se as he lay trapped at the bottom of a ruck comprised of Bok Props !
He has forsaken his usual nutty tirade at all things black for a go at things green it seems 🙂
#4 hahahaha RP, this seems true, although at the same time, currently our scrums are a shambles!!!!
RP and Tripples-Good Morning Girls….
Halloooooooooooo young Lady 🙂
I see we have to do our superbru picks ….Japan meet Canada again!! I won’t get caught out this time by those little ‘Nips’.
RP was one of the only ones to predict Japan to win! …….(Am I allowed to say Nip’s here) 😐
Of course hehehehe they is what they is hehehehehe
Good day ladies (and a lurking gbs)
Lovely 30 deg summers day in the fairest Cape today, and the birds are singing “die lewe is ‘n lied” and I am harmonising hehehe
Hi SA
Sorry have to fly now, it is not your ‘charmpits’ driving me off, honest!
3 Carol
Depends on the stiffness of the old upper lips dear Carol hehehe
11 Eish…. my armpits are charmpits, what’s up with you???
Sy hele moer man. Alhoewel dit half aan die waar kant is.
Dis nou Stephen Jones. Hoop hy kry ‘n kramp.
Does this Stephen Jones character ever write positive rugby articles, if so is his bitterness aimed squarely only at South Africa?
Bitter and twisted little cnut!
He needs a PK Deluxe.
He raises a few valid points, but mostly it’s the same drivel that he pumps out every time he gives his opinion. We all know Castiogiovani is scrumming illegally, I wonder how many other Northern Hemisphere scrummagers are doing the same thing. Our scrum have worried me the past few years, but seeing the All Blacks scrum suffer like it did with the recognized scrummagers there, means that the Northern Hemisphere are either cheating or innovative… My bet is on the latter…
Stephen Jones….
Give us a D D
Give us an O O
Give us another O O
Give us an S S
What do you get …. D**S !
Seriously ignore this c*ck jockey, The only way he keeps his column going is by being controversial. He is really a clown and not a very professional writer either, the columnists in the Telegraph and Independent are far better than he is. If you want to know what the British media think of the Boks they are far better sources.
8000 Planet Rugby users voted on the best loosehead since 1995, 3500 of them chose Os, what does that tell you. Mr Jones or 3500 fans – whose right ?
I hope he gets the “cavity” search on his next trip through SA customs !
I also hope the Bok management look at the scrum arrangements next year as we are struggling there – hopefully this EOY tour will have some positive spinoffs and someone will WAKE UP.
hahahaha, 18.
THey should pull him in as he arrives at the Airport for “suspicious content” and then leave him alone in a room lit with a single light-bulb, only to let someone like, say Ollie, give him a search through. Hahaha, wonder whet he will write then.
All this kaka comming from a Welsh player..a nation who only managed to beat the boks once in the last 100 years.My oppinion of the Welsh is, they think they are Gods gift to rugby, but they just arent good enough.Pathetic little man
I’m surprised he didn’t mention other props like Kempson and Garvey – oh wait, he can’t since they destroyed all scrums infront of them a decade ago.
But apart from that I would have to agree with him – in general. But the signs were there for a while now. S14 for years, we have been struggling in the scrums. Bulls last DOMINATED the scrums when Bands and Bezuidenhout were their props.
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